Galester

My time in Ireland is coming to a close in only four weeks.  In theory, this has and will be my busiest time here.  This past year I have been conducting research on protected areas designation policy in Ireland, looking specifically at the appeals process of the policy.  The final paper of this thesis, and the total basis of my research degree, is supposedly due on July 27th.  However I can’t imagine that being true.  It’s like some sort of bad dream.  There is no way I can finish by that date.  I had been told earlier in the term that the deadline would be sometime in late August or September, and that is what I based my research schedule on.  At this point, I should be able to buckle down, finish the research, and start writing.  Life would be grand if I could get the bloody thing out of the way, but is that what I am working on right now?  Hardly.

My only comforts in life right now are the Simpsons Season 5 DVD, late night conversations with my gracious housemate Noreen, and the fortuitous delights that come with living in a really interesting place.  The pain and pressure of the pending thesis completion resting on my shoulders has pushed me down into a cavernous vacuum of empty hedonism and apathy.  Despite my reputation for ambitious endeavors, I find myself quite content watching DVDs, reading magazines, reading emails, chatting online with friends, and thinking about all the things I should be doing.   

To make matters worse, I find myself losing various material and superficial possessions that make me happy.  Several weeks ago I went to see Lisa Loeb in concert: an amazing show and an amazing night.  I ran into a random friend from college, James McConchie, and the night was most excellent.  Then I thought it would be a really excellent idea to rest my digital camera on my pint glass, and yes the camera fell into my beer.  The camera was ruined, so I thought.  Now the camera actually works, but the pictures it takes are completely black.  However I discovered yesterday that if you place the lens directly in front of a strong light source, you can make out a slight image in the LCD projector.  This means that the camera is working but for some reason is not getting any light; so close yet so far away.  Also making matters worse, I was pick-pocketed the other night when I also had a random encounter with old friends.  I ran into a girl from my high school, Stephanie Tyree, at the bar and during the night was hanging with some random friends from college who happen to be studying in a town an hour away to the east.  I hate being victimized.  In my wallet at the time, I had all the money that was supposed to last me the rest of the summer (“graduation” money from the parents”) that I just had converted at the bank earlier that day.  I also lost my drivers license, some print photos of my family, and every Chinese fortune I had ever gotten from those delectable and infamous cookies.  I’m going to see if the bar will let me put up a ‘wanted’ poster or something, but I doubt it.  The Irish are not very cooperative with victimized Americans or foreigners, especially if you are a person of color.

So now here I am, typing away in one window the sorrows of a man who has most if not everything going for him and in the other the Cape Fear episode of the Simpsons.  I have always struggled with my status as a self-proclaimed “privileged vagabond.”  As my mother says, I am “hoeing” myself out to my housemate for free rent, I really do not wake up any day with any particular purpose or plan, and I have zero motivation to do anything about it.  However I do recognize the privileges that I have, the wonderful people in my life, and all of the skills and possibilities that are completely within my reach.  I need some serious stimuli right now to get back on track, but until I get a consistent source of food money, a personal recognition of the importance of things other than money, and a sparkle of attraction in the work that I am not doing, I will probably go back downstairs, lay in bed, and watch Simpsons Season 5 again; but this time with audio commentary. 

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 19th, 2005 at 10:54 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.